Hot Damn! We Did It!
by Carb0408
Summary: Uh oh! Grandma Mazur was kidnapped! Who comes to her rescue or does she even need rescuing? A one-two shot just for fun.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot.**

 **A.N: Hey guys! So this story came from a prompt that was thrown out in one of the groups months ago. My muse finally came back to me and I decided to finish this one. It's going to be a two shot. Enjoy!**

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"Somebody better be dead," I mumbled as I flipped my phone open blindly.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum! That is no way to answer the phone."

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, suppressing the sigh at hearing my mother's voice. "Ma," I yelled, interrupting the Hail Mary's and signing of the cross I was sure she was doing. "What do you need?"

"Your grandmother never came home last night."

I sighed. This was becoming a weekly thing with her. She usually disappeared after getting into a fight with my father. She always showed back up the next morning, usually having snuck back into the house during the night.

"You know she does this. She always comes back home. She probably-"

"Stephanie!" she yelled, stopping me from commenting further. "I need you to come over to the house. I called Joseph and he'll be here for breakfast. I expect to see you as well."

"Ma, Joe and I haven't seen each other since we decided to call it quits two months ago. I told you-"

She interrupted me, again. "I expect you here within the hour. NO excuses."

Next thing I knew, I was listening to the dial tone. Sighing I pushed myself out of bed and contemplated if it was worth going over or not. Deciding I'd rather go to her, than her show up here and bringing who knows who with her, I threw on the first things my hands came into contact with, grabbed my bag and was in my car within ten minutes of getting off the phone with her.

Fifteen minutes later I was pulling up in front of my childhood home in the 'Burg and surprise, surprise, my mother was waiting on the porch for me. She narrowed her eyes at my clothes and shook her head before ushering me inside. No sooner had I said hello to my father, did I hear the screen door slam shut and Morelli's voice ringing out from somewhere behind me.

"Cupcake, lookin' good."

I rolled my eyes and responded by flipping him off, only to be caught by my mother. "Stephanie! I raised you better than that!"

"Remains to be seen," I muttered.

"Set the table, Stephanie."

I did as I was told, while ignoring the snickering coming from Joe. Once everyone was seated and started eating, Ma turned to Joe and asked about filing a missing person's report.

We all looked at her like she was crazy. Even Daddy stopped his fork midway to shoot mom an incredulous look. Joe came out of his stupor first and took a drink of his coffee before asking her questions.

"Who do you want to report missing, Mrs. Plum?"

"My mother."

Daddy slammed his knife and fork down, causing us all to jump in surprise. "Jesus christ, Helen! She'll be back. She always comes back." He reached for his fork again, "Unfortunately."

"Frank!" she screeched. "She is my mother and I am worried about her."

"I say good riddance, woman. She's old enough to live her life. She doesn't need a babysitter."

She ignored him and turned her sour mood onto me.

I held my hands up in defense. "I didn't do anything."

"That's exactly it. You never do anything. She gets into these messes because of you. If you would just get a normal job, she wouldn't find it necessary to "enjoy" her life so much."

"Jesus, Helen! Stop harping on her."

Just as I was about to say my goodbyes and leave, no breakfast was worth this much trouble, the house phone rang. My mother pointed at me and told me not to move while she went to answer it.

After ten minutes and she still wasn't back, I went into to the kitchen to see what was going on. What I didn't expect to see was my mom pale white and shaking, the phone forgotten and hanging down the wall. "Mom!"

I rushed to her side and held her as I moved her to a chair at the kitchen table, when my father and Joe stormed in. "What's wrong with her?"

"I think she's in shock. She hasn't said anything yet." I moved out of my father's way so he could coax her back to reality and made my way over to the phone. After picking it up and hearing nothing but a dial tone, I hung it back up and leaned against the wall.

My mother was muttering and when Joe made to ask her what she was saying, she turned on me and screeched.

"This is all your fault! Why do I have to have a daughter that gets her family kidnapped?!"

I looked at her in shock. I don't have any active threats; no stalkers, no secret admirers, not even any open FTA's right now. "How is this my fault?"

"They want you in exchange for your grandmother and I'm hal in my right mind to agree to the exchange. You have brought nothing but trouble to this family since you started bounty hunting."

"Mrs. Plum," Joe interrupted. "We are going to need you to come to the station and make a formal report." He looked at my dad next. "You can bring her down as soon as she calms down."

Then he turned to me. "Cupcake, you as well. We are going to need to know if you pissed anyone off recently, especially since they are looking for you."

I nodded and moved through the house, grabbing my purse on the way. I just reached the bottom steps when Joe stopped me.

"You can ride with me."

I scoffed. "I don't think so. I'll meet you there." I shrugged his arm off and jogged to my car. I waited for him to pull away before pulling out my cell phone and hitting speed dial one.

"Yo."

"Ranger, I need help."

I heard some rustling and a door shut before he spoke again. "What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm sitting outside my mother's house. Can you meet me outside the police station?"

I heard an engine turn over before I heard his response. "Yes." Then he hung up.

Stupid non-existent phone manners. I swear I'm going to hang up on him first the next time. See how he likes it. I waited in front of my parents house until I saw my mom and dad walking out. Then I headed to the station to meet up with Ranger first.

Pulling into the spot next to him, I got out and met him in front of my car.

"What's going on, Babe?"

"Grandma's been kidnapped. She went missing last night and while I was at my mother's for breakfast, they called and wanted to exchange Grandma Mazur for me."

"You have any active stalkers?"

"You know that answer probably better than I do, Ranger."

He smiled, well as much as Ranger smiles, before nodding in agreement. "What do you need me to do?"

"I don't know. Can you put out some feelers and see if you hear any chatter? I have to go inside and make a statement and then I can come to Rangeman and help."

"You need moral support in there?"

"Nope. My mother invited Joe to breakfast this morning, so I've already dealt with him. He should be professional enough in here and I'll make sure someone else takes my statement."

"Ok. Call me if you run into any trouble." With a quick yet thorough kiss that left me checking to make sure my clothes were still on, he left.

I took a couple deep breaths to get my heart rate back to normal and made my way inside the station. I said hello to the few on duty cops I was familiar with before knocking on Joe's office door.

"What took so long, Cupcake? Had to get permission from Ranger to do this by yourself?"

"Whatever, Morelli. I'm not in the mood. Can we get this over with."

"Take a seat and-"

"Oh, I don't think so." I cut him off. "I want someone else to take my statement. You're too close to this."

"Steph,"

"No. Find someone else, Joe."

"Fine," he snarled as he pushed past me.

A few minutes later, Chief Robbins came from the direction Joe had disappeared.

"Ms. Plum, follow me."

We ended up entering an interrogation room and he showed me to a seat while taking the one directly across from me.

"Detective Morelli said that you refused to leave a statement with him regarding your missing grandmother."

"I did."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I do not."

We stared at one another for a few moments until he cleared his throat and looked away. I smirked and couldn't wait to tell the guys at Rangeman that their lessons were paying off.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a voice recorder. "I'm going to tape your statement, if you agree."

"Yes. That's fine."

We went over when my last FTA capture was and if I had any active stalkers. He asked when I saw Grandma Mazur last and if I've heard from her since she went missing.

"No, I haven't, but I was at my mother's house when she received the call making their demands."

"You don't seem to be too worried about her being taken."

I shrugged not willing to let him know that I have my own guys working on finding her. No need to ramp up the hostility.

"You shouldn't underestimate the kidnappers, Ms. Plum." He folded his hands together on the table between us. "It is my understanding that what they really want is you, after all."

I narrowed my eyes at him, running our conversation through my head, knowing that I didn't mention what the call was about. _Hmm, something else to have Ranger look into_.

" **No, sir. I'm not underestimating them.** _ **You**_ **are underestimating my grandmother."**

When he didn't ask anymore questions, I pushed the chair back and stood, waiting for him to do the same. "If that's all, I have things I need to do."

"Yes. Of course, Ms. Plum. Thank you for your cooperation and if you happen to hear from her, please let us know as soon as possible."

I smiled. "Of course, Chief."

I walked out of the room before him and took a glance around trying to spy my parents. I didn't see them, so I assumed they were still talking to Morelli. I decided to avoid that situation and leave before they pulled me in, lightly jogging out of the building and to my car.

Of course, as would be my life, my car blew up when I was a few feet from the driver's side, taking two police cruisers with it. I just hung my head, waiting for the circus to start.


End file.
